Wishing I could let my leg heal while sitting on a beautiful beach somewhere...it sure would be a lot more fun!
I decided to give my leg one more day to fully heal. I’m hoping, and praying, that it will be enough. My calf was feeling a bit better today but not completely. Not wanting to make the injury worse I decided to allow one more day of healing. If it feels better tomorrow then I will begin P90X again and finish up the workouts I missed this week. I’m assuming that if all goes well, I will finish up in another week.
In all honesty I feel horrible about missing my workouts this week. I know it is necessary to allow my leg time to heal, however I REALLY miss my workouts. I’ve realized how I’ve come to rely upon them each day for extra energy. I always feel so much better on the days that I workout. The past few days I feel as though my body is melting into Jello, and it’s only been three days!!!
Today it was difficult to NOT exercise. I really wanted to workout, however my leg was still sore and in pain. I’ve learned the hard way, in the past, and knew not to push it this morning. My leg is showing signs of improvement, just not enough to push it like P90X does. It’s killing me to not workout, particularly since this is supposed to be the last week of my challenge. I’ve decided to add another week so that I can make up the workouts I’m missing this week.
Hopefully my leg will finish healing so I can begin again tomorrow or Saturday…
In my dream the large boat behind the marina was a navy ship, however there was land on the other side similar to this photo.
The air was cool as I stepped out onto the porch. It was early morning and the noises of the city were just beginning to come alive. I lifted the warm cup to my lips and took a sip. Mmm, as the warm liquid slid down my throat it seemed to permeate my entire body. As I savored the warmth, I felt a shiver run up my spine as my body tried to make sense of the warm liquid and the cool air surrounding me.
As I wrapped my robe tighter around my waist I looked out over the bay. The sun was beginning to rise in the East and I could see a gentle mist rising from the water. There was a marina just a few blocks away and I took in the beauty of the boats as they swayed gently upon the water. I noticed a few men walking along the docks, preparing to set sail for the day. As I looked beyond, I could see a large ship making its way past the marina, farther into the bay to dock at some unseen port.
I set my cup down and picked up my camera. I was grateful I had brought it out with me this morning. As I lifted the camera to my eye I focused on the two figures standing at the head of the large ship. It appeared to be the captain of the ship and another crew member. They were talking to one another in deep conversation. I zoomed in with my lens and focused directly on the two men. They were in uniform and I realized it must be a naval ship. I took a few photos, then looked around for something else to shoot.
This is similar to the bridge in my dream however it was a deep orange-red color.
As I turned to my left I noticed an extremely large bridge spanning the bay from one land mass to another. The water seemed to wind its way beneath and beyond to another port of call. It was a massive structure. The steel beams that comprised the structure were impressive in size. While they were now weathered with age they appeared to have been at one time a deep vibrant orange-red color.
I turned and faced the bridge. As I set the camera to my eye and focused, I noticed there was a path along the edge of the bridge where people could walk from one side to the other. At the base of one of the massive beams there was a couple. They stood in silence, facing one another, as the sun crested above the hill that stood behind them on the other side. I zoomed in closer with my lens and snapped a photo. The vibrant colors of the bridge, and the sunrise, melted together to create the perfect backdrop to the silent couple.
The door to the bungalow opened and my friend walked out onto the porch. I had come to visit this foreign land and was mesmerized already by its beauty. The house sat at the top of a gentle hill that led down to the bay below. We stood in silence taking in the beauty of the sights, and sounds, as the city came alive. This was the home of my friend and he had offered me a place to stay while I toured the city.
In my dream there were fish markets, fresh produce & flowers and many other wonderful things.
As we looked down near the water we could see the streets begin to come alive with people and cars. The public market was beginning to open and fishermen were already pulling in to the docks with their morning catch. I could smell the salt water as it hung on the morning mist. I breathed in deeply and savored the smell. I wanted to remember this moment.
I reached for my cup and took another sip of the warm liquid as I turned and faced my friend. “It’s breathtaking!” I said. He chuckled and replied, “I guess so. You get used to it after awhile.” My friend, and his wife, had lived here their entire lives. It’s all they knew. For me, everything was new.
I had spent the past few years honing my skills as a photographer (amateur at best) and was delighted with all the vibrant colors of the city. I was looking forward to spending the next two weeks sightseeing and taking photos of everything, and anything, that caught my eye.
As the sun rose higher in the sky its warmth spread across the bay and soon the porch was bathed in sunlight. The forecast predicted perfect weather for the day, low 80’s with a gentle breeze. It was the perfect start to my vacation.
I awoke with a start as Celine Dion began singing the theme song to Titanic. I reached over and turned off my alarm. As I lay in bed I contemplated the dream that had captured my thoughts in the night. The sights, sounds, and colors were still vivid in my mind. I marveled over the incredible photos I had taken in my dream. If only I could learn to do that in real life…
It’s been two days since I awoke from that dream and it is still as vivid and clear in my mind as when I was living it in my dream. I’ve wondered if that place really exists somewhere in the world. If I could draw, or paint, it would make a breathtaking piece of art. For now…it will have to remain in my mind and heart. Perhaps I should learn a little more about photography…
Do you dream in color or black and white? My dreams have always been in vibrant color. Some I remember vividly while others are faded memories, blended together soon to be forgotten. There are some dreams that to this day still remain solid and clear. I’ve often thought to myself, “Someone should write a book about that.” A number of years ago I had a dream that was so unique and unlike anything I had ever dreamed before. It involved alien life forms and the dream was so vivid I sat my daughter down and proceeded to tell her all about it saying, “You should write a book about this! It would make a great sci-fi novel.” She listened half-heartily, trying to imagine what I was describing. Of course, my narrative didn’t do the dream justice and she finally said, “You’re the one with the dream, maybe you should write it.” I shrugged and went back to eating my breakfast.
Do you remember your dreams? Do you ever have dreams that seem so real its as if they really happened? I’d love to hear your thoughts…
Well, if you read yesterday’s post you know that I injured my calf yesterday. I was hoping for a miracle overnight but woke up with pain still shooting through my calf. As frustrated as I am with the injury I know better than to push it beyond what is reasonable. I decided to take the day off from Kenpo X today to allow more time for healing. Kenpo X requires a great deal of kicking and I knew there was no way I would be able to complete the workout without injuring my leg further.
I cannot even begin to express my frustration. I’m trying to relax and just deal with the fact that my leg needs a little more time to heal. I guess this means that I will have to extend my Challenge another week. I’m okay with that. I’m just frustrated at my limited ability right now. I’m trying to be patient but it’s hard when my desire and determination are so strong and my body is dealing with a minor injury. Hopefully I will heal quickly and be back on track within a couple of days….
Ready to head out on our brisk walk for the evening, little did I know what was to come...
Today turned out to be beautiful. The sun finally emerged from behind the clouds and was shining brightly in the sky when I returned home at the end of the day. I quickly called my husband to see what time he would be home and to see if he wanted to go for a brisk walk with me. He agreed and said he’d be home shortly. I was so excited to get out in the sun that I got ready in no time. It has been 3 months since I’ve gone walking/running and I was long overdue. Prior to P90X I had been going 6-8 miles per day and I missed the fresh air.
As my husband and I began our walk I realized that my right calf muscle was still sore from a few days ago. I had felt the tightness in my leg since Saturday, however it was mild so I had dismissed it. As we began to walk quickly up the large hill near our home I could feel the strain on my right calf. I decided to ignore it in hopes that it would just go away.
We had walked about half a mile when I began to slow down. I knew we were approaching a particular home and wanted to point out the beautiful backyard chickens to my husband. My son and I have been wanting chickens for two years and I wanted to show my husband that there were some living in the backyard of this home. Forgetting that my husband had his earphones on, and his music playing, I began talking to him as I turned to look at the chickens. When I turned back to look at my husband I realized that he had continued to walk on, not realizing that I had stopped. I turned and began to sprint towards him, forgetting about the pain in my calf. I had no sooner pushed off to sprint when the pain in my calf shot through my entire leg, crumpling me on the spot! Realizing that my husband was unaware of my pain, I hobbled toward him as fast as I could and grabbed his shirt to get his attention. He turned, looked at me, then suddenly stopped as he noticed the pained expression on my face. I was determined to continue walking and decided to “walk it off” to see if the pain would subside.
As we approached the end of the first mile my husband turned to me and asked if I wanted to turn and head home. He could tell I was in pain. I was so angry with my leg, and the pain I was feeling, that I told him no. I was determined to continue on. I told him that as long as we didn’t go up any hills I would be fine. Well, let’s just say that the next mile was pure torture. I was in constant pain, however my pride was unwilling to admit it. I WANTED to walk in the sunshine and the rest of my body was perfectly fine with that fact. My leg, however, was not cooperating. Finally, after limping for the last mile, I told my husband that we could go home.
I was so frustrated and angry with my leg. I have been working out 6 days a week for the past 3 months and the first day I go walking I injure my leg! Ugh!! I cannot even explain my frustration. In all honesty, I knew my leg was sore before beginning but I was determined to go anyway. I missed the fresh air and sunshine and NEEDED this walk.
I had spent my morning taking photos of plants in my yard and postponed my Core Synergistics routine until tonight. Now I was not only dealing with the pain in my leg but the possibility of not completing today’s P90X workout. This was NOT good.
Thinking that my leg would improve with time I decided to rub pain creme into my calf and give it a few hours. Well…let’s just say that Core Synergistics did not happen today. I am so mad at myself right now. This is the last week of my challenge and I wanted to finish strong. I’m not sure that will be happening. Tomorrow I’m supposed to do Kenpo X and I’m not sure how that will go considering my leg pain. I will let it rest for the night and see how I feel in the morning. Hopefully a miracle will occur and my leg will heal in the next 8 hours…
Thunder & Lightening are similar to my thoughts & speed with which I speak.
When I was a little girl I used to love to sit on our living room couch and watch the lightening storms. We had two huge windows that encompassed two walls and met together in the corner. I would turn off all the lights in the room and watch, with awe, the majestic scene being played out before me. I would watch closely for the display of lightening and then listen, while I slowly counted, for the thunder that would surely follow. When the thunder and lightening occurred at the same time I would jump with fright knowing that it was close. In spite of the fear I sometimes felt, I would continue to sit and watch. It was both terrifying and beautiful at the same time. I found that the beauty of the display far outweighed my fear and I would sit for hours, alone on the couch, just watching and listening.
As I’ve grown older I’ve come to recognize that my mind and voice are much like the lightening and thunder storms I witnessed as a child. My mind has always worked with lightening speed. My thoughts are continually 3 steps ahead of what comes out of my mouth. My family knows that I can ask a question, and if I don’t receive an immediate response, I will soon be asking my 3rd, 4th, or 5th question before they have time to answer the 1st one.
My words often move at the same speed as a rushing waterfall.
I can remember early on in my marriage. I was in one of my “modes” where I began to rattle off everything that was on my mind. My husband quietly looked at me and asked, “Do you want my advice or do you just want me to listen?” I remember stopping abruptly, thinking for a moment, and then replying, “I just want you to listen.” When I was finally done with my waterfall of thoughts that came pouring out of my mouth, my husband continued to sit in silence. I looked at him and said, “Aren’t you going to say anything?” He replied quietly, “I thought you just wanted me to listen?” To this I replied, “I did.” He nodded thoughtfully, waiting patiently for my next words. After a moment of silence I said, “I guess I want your advice too.”
My husband has incredible patience when it comes to listening to me. He has continued to ask the question, “Do you want my advice or do you just want me to listen?” for the past 20 years. He knows that inevitably I will ask for both, the only difference is the order of my request. Sometimes I will ask for his advice first, then ask him to just listen while I ramble off the rest of my thoughts. At other times I just want him to listen and withhold his advice until I’m ready to hear it. The important thing is that he continues to be patient with me as he watches and listens, sometimes with awe and other times with sheer astonishment as he witnesses the speed with which the words flow so readily from my mouth.
From the time I was little, my mind has always worked with lightening speed. My eyes take in everything around me and my mind works overtime trying to analyze and understand what is going on. Just as thunder follows lightening, my words follow my thoughts. Sometimes the flow of words happen at the same time as the thoughts occur, at other times there is a delay, as my mind works to decipher my thoughts before letting them rumble out.
For those of you who know me well, you are probably laughing at this analogy, but you know it’s true. For those of you who don’t know me personally, just envision a truly beautiful flash of lightening and the frightening thunder that follows. I don’t mean this in a bad way. My words themselves are not frightening, it is the speed with which they flow that can be scary. It amazes even me how fast I can talk when the thoughts are pouring from my mouth. When I get excited, just picture the thunder in overdrive.
Sure, there are times when I can talk slow….well… maybe not very often. I am by nature a happy, positive person. I have a tendency to be inquisitive and thereby ask a lot of questions. I am fascinated with others and am always trying to understand what makes them “tick”.
This is a reflection of the thoughts in my mind. While they can be overwhelming, they can also be beautiful.
So there it is. A small glimpse into my thought process. For those of you who know me well, the next time I begin to speak with lightening speed, just remember that it’s actually the thunder you’re hearing. The beautiful, majestic lightening is going on inside my head. Pretend you’re watching that instead… and you just might witness a beautiful display!
Last night we had a torrential downpour that was so loud my husband had to put in his earphones and turn the music up to cover the sound of the rain.
As I lay in bed I thought to myself, “Will Spring EVER arrive in the Pacific Northwest?” We have had a lot of rain and everyone is READY for Spring to arrive.
Plum Tree BlossomsTulips ready to bloom!
I woke up this morning to the smell of fresh, clean air. Everything was covered with drips of water from the downpour during the night. I decided to grab my camera in hopes of finding some small signs that Spring was ready to explode upon us any day. Here is just a glimpse of what I found in my yard today…
The many Lilac trees are beginning to bloom…
Lilac blooms
Hosta’s are popping up in mysterious places to surprise & delight…
Hosta's are popping up in surprising places!
The Coral Bark Japanese Maple is beginning to shoot forth new leaves…
Coral Bark Japanese Maple
The Rhubarb plants are in full bloom…
There are 3 Rhubarb plants in the yard and they are all in full bloom.
The blueberry bushes are beginning to put forth leaves…
We were delighted to find so many blueberry bushes in the yard.
Bright red holly berries are a burst of color to the front yard…
Bright Red Berries Delight The Eyes From This Dwarf Holly Bush
This Varigated Winter Daphne is beginning to flower and put forth a wonderful aroma near the front porch…
The Varigated Winter Daphne is beginning to bloom just beside the front porch and fills the air with its delightful smell.
I love the peeling bark of the Birch trees…
I love the peeling bark of the Birch Trees in the front yard.
This is a great little stone path leading to the lower level of the yard…
This wonderful little stone path leads to a cozy little corner of the yard.
Crazy Washington Hawthorn tree that has KILLER spikes coming out of it everywhere…
I'm not sure how I feel about this Washington Hawthorn tree. The spikes covering every branch are DANGEROUS! My son thinks it's pretty cool.
Overwintered Garlic…
We were happy to discover that garlic had been planted before we moved in.
Flowers growing in the built-in flower pots on the deck. I have no idea what they are but I’m sure I’ll love them when they finally bloom…
I'm looking forward to seeing what these are when they bloom...
Bright Red Rhododendron Bushes line the front of the house…
The buds are just beginning to show signs of color.
It is true that Yoga X has been one of my biggest challenges. I completed the workouts just fine for the first two months, however during the past month this particular routine has been one of my biggest challenges. I don’t love yoga. In fact, it is rather boring for me. I would much rather be boxing or lifting weights. I do know that yoga is an important element and increases flexibility and balance considerably. So…why do I struggle so much with it? I don’t really know the answer to that question.
This is my last week of my P90X Challenge and Yoga X is on the schedule TWICE! I was determined to complete the routine today and began with a positive mind. I realized very quickly that my lack of Yoga X for the past couple of weeks was noticeable. I was stumbling and falling over more than ever. It became clearly evident that this particular routine DOES make a huge difference in one’s flexibility and balance. I did not realize, until today, that I had really been making progress. Skipping Yoga X for the past few weeks was NOT a good idea. I can see that now.
I have made a commitment to do my best this week, particularly with Yoga X. I will fight my natural tendency and desire to skip this workout. I’m determined to LEARN TO ENJOY Yoga. It will not be easy, but I will to my best…
The kids and I had fun dying Easter eggs this weekend. It's amazing how something so simple can bring so much joy!
Okay, I know I’m a day late with this posting but yesterday was so busy I honestly did not have time to post. I was going non-stop from sunrise to sunset. I did manage to fit in my Kenpo X routine although it wasn’t until about 5:00 pm. I was just happy to be able to fit it into my crazy schedule. I love Kenpo X, as you probably already know, so I didn’t want to miss it. It was a fun workout and a beautiful day as well. When I finally hit the sack last night I was happy and exhausted!
Today was Easter Sunday and was a wonderful day spent with family. I enjoyed a fabulous Easter service at church and was delighted to hear my youngest son sing in the children’s choir and my husband in the adult choir. Many of my extended family came over to share Easter dinner with us and we had a delightful evening laughing and talking as we all caught each other up on what was going on in our lives.
My youngest son had waited all day to find his Easter eggs (the ones filled with candy). He wanted his cousins to share in the fun, so he waited until they arrived and they all hunted for them together. It was fun to watch them running all over the house as they searched for them. When they were all done we realized one was still missing. It wasn’t until a couple hours later that my sister-in-law spotted it and happily announced to everyone that she had found it! The kids all laughed and were relieved that all the eggs had been found.
As my day comes to a close I am grateful for the wonderful weekend that this has been. It has been filled with fun, laughter, and most importantly LOVE. My family is such a blessing in my life and I’m so grateful to have shared this weekend with them in so many ways.
How do we learn to love? We each grow up with various circumstances. Some families express love openly while others withhold that love. Children are born naturally trusting and loving. As they progress and grow they are molded and shaped by their environment, their families, their friends and circumstances. If you’ve ever watched children as they progress through elementary school you can see their enthusiasm and willingness to learn and share in the early years. As they become older they begin to become aware and more self-conscious of peer pressure. In kindergarten, when the teacher asks a question, the majority of children will raise their hand high in the air in hopes of being called upon to answer. As they get older, they may experience cruelty or laughter from their peers as they answer incorrectly. With time, if this continues to happen, a child will become more withdrawn and less likely to raise their hand to answer, even if they know the answer.
Through circumstances and events our natural tendency to express ourselves can be withdrawn. I’ve seen this happen with teenagers and adults as well. You may experience a relationship where the other person be-little’s you or makes you feel as though your comments and thoughts are not important. They may ridicule and demean you in front of others, or privately. If these experiences persist, you can become more withdrawn and withhold your comments. Communication can deteriorate and the relationship can become damaged.
When a new relationship is beginning, the love and joy of the “newness” can overshadow everything else. However, with time, the natural tendencies of both partners tend to show their true form. As we develop and grow closer to another human being we realize that neither one of us are perfect and we all have individual weaknesses and strengths. It is when we bond together in love that we have the opportunity to either build each other up, or break each other down.
So, how do we learn to not only love , but to allow ourselves to be loved in return? To truly have a successful, loving relationship, it must be both ways. You must love, and you must allow yourself to be loved. Your previous experiences and/or relationships can help or harm your current one. If you have, or perhaps if you are currently, in a relationship where you feel a lack of love, step back and assess the situation. Is it on your part or the part of your partner? It is always easier to point the finger at the other person, but quite often it can be the result of both partners.
In order to have a successful, loving relationship, both partners need to feel comfortable with expressing themselves to the other person COMPLETELY. This means that you should feel comfortable telling that person anything, without fear of rejection, humiliation, or anger. It takes two to make this work. If you do not feel that you have this type of relationship, then heart felt communication is needed. This can be a painful and slow process, depending on the partners involved. It should always be done with love and kindness.
When both partners seek to understand the other persons point-of-view, regardless of whether they agree or not, miraculous healing can occur. When we seek first to understand, rather than to be understood, we learn to truly listen. That is the first step. If both partners focus on this concept then both partners will not only understand, but they will be understood as well.
Once we begin to understand the other person we gain greater insight into their hearts and minds. Depending on our previous, or current, circumstances it can be difficult for some to express their true thoughts and concerns with the other person. However, it is imperative that we learn to do so. We must withhold judgement and just listen. If we want to have healing in our lives, we must allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and open our hearts and souls to the other person. We must understand that the process of learning to love on a much deeper level requires sacrifice. Sacrifice of our ego and sacrifice of our pride. When done successfully, you can experience love on a much deeper and richer level. When communication flows openly, with kindness and respect, the relationship is strengthened and the love grows.
Some people fall in love quickly, it is the “staying in love” part that takes hard work and dedication. When two people work together to build a loving relationship their lives are richer and all those around them benefit from their example. Through loving your spouse, your friends and your family you are teaching future generations how to love through your example. My hope is that we will all strive to be better examples so that the next generation will not only grow up with love in their lives, but that they will grow up to be loving individuals as well.
Seek to discover what you can do to strengthen the love in your own personal relationships. It needs to start somewhere…so begin with YOU!
Reflections By Jen 